Week 14

My last words will most definitely be, “make sure to film this.” I don’t know how I’m going to go, but I can tell you that it will be in a blaze of glory, such glory that if it was to be filmed, people wouldn’t cry over my death but laugh about how ridiculous the path was I chose to kick the bucket. That way they could just show the footage at my funeral and people’s sides would be splitting from laughing so much. And they’d say, “that’s so Jacob, man I’ll miss that guy.” Or maybe, “That’s the most cottage cheese I’ve ever seen anybody eat in one sitting, maybe that’s why it ruptured his stomach leading to his utter demise.” The funeral will be brief and loaded with laughing people, just the way I want it. If I knew my time was up in life, I would of course do the usual: tell my family I love them, repent, you know the works. But then I would go to an expensive Chinese buffet and eat like there’s no tomorrow; because there is none. Kind of like the movie Groundhogs Day where he has no regard for what he eats anymore as he lodges an entire éclair down his gullet. I would probably view that world in a better light. The mountains would look more beautiful, the sun would feel warmer, and singing of children would seem less annoying. What I would leave as my legacy, and also what would be important for people to hear, would be to regret nothing! If you make a mistake, learn from it, sure, but yell, “I regret nothing” as you walk out the door. Regretting things leads to sadness and there is just not enough of our precious time on earth to be sitting around regretting things. Do the preparation beforehand so you don’t have to deal with regret; but if you don’t prepare, just face the music and regret nothing. If you ask a girl on a date and she turns out to be engaged, regret nothing! Laugh about it and move on.