My favorite word: a pretty cool dude

My favorite word is "like." It ties everything together and can also be used for anything. I like it so much I will even name it. For now on, my favorite word will be known as Like. He's a man, he's a pretty cool dude, he likes to skateboard and take long walks on the beach. He's got to be the most versatile word ever. A quick search on the internet for him will show the amazing versatility of this four lettered wonder. He can be used as clever little prepositions in comparisons. "He eats like a pig," or "She looks like a pig," are both wonderful examples of this use. You think that this baby is only used as a preposition? Think again! One minute he's a preposition the other minute, he's a subordinating conjunction! When someone says to another, "I look as if I ate a mop from the janitor’s closet," they are wasting their breath. This same person could stick Like in the place of "as if" and before you know it: a twelve letter sentence just got shortened down to eleven. Multiply that by a thousand, and that means a thousand words saved. Like, saving thousands of words, one word at a time.

It's not over folks. Like still has more to come. Did you know he is also a verb? I like Like. That was a verb, how amazing! He can also be an adverb, a discourse article, or a hedge, or even an interjection! Like is, like, so amazing. The ladies love this guy, you can always tell when girls are Like fans, they'll constantly say his name in every sentence they can utter. "I, Like, need to, Like, totally, Like, go to the mall, Like, this weekend." If Like had a smell, he would smell like the most effective cologne known to man. This is again because the ladies can't get enough of him. He would sparkle in the sunlight and be cold to the touch, since apparently girls like that.